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< The first concerto | Story
Chapter 5: Unwritten Thoughts
書かれていない想い (? (edit))
書かれていない想い (? (edit))
Chopin's Fantasie-Impromptu on piano
Out of tune note; piano stops
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(...Once again...)
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(Once again, from the beginning.)
Chopin's Fantasie-Impromptu on piano
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(I have to keep going until I can do it.)
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(If I can't do that——I'll disappoint them.)
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(Dad...Mom... All of the people who've placed their expectations on me...)
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(...But...)
Piano stops
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(How long do I have to keep doing this?)
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(How long do I do this——before I can live up to their expectations?)
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(For me...)
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(For me...isn't this impossible?)
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...
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——So that's all you're capable of?
Toya
...Kh!
Toya
...It was...a dream...
Toya
(...I've been having a lot of dreams like that lately.)
Toya
(Those visceral feelings are all resurfacing...almost as if I've been sent back to that time.)
Toya
(...No. I don't have time to be thinking about things like that right now.)
Toya
(I have to do it... I have to complete at least one song.
Toya's Mother
...Toya-san?
Toya
Ah, Mom...
Toya
Is something wrong?
Toya's Mother
...So you woke up early today as well.
Toya's Mother
It seems like you've been staying up late recently, so I was worried if you've been sleeping properly.
Toya
Ah..thank you, Mom. But, right now——
Toya's Mother
I understand that you're doing something very important to you, Toya-san.
Toya's Mother
But...it would be counterproductive if you overworked yourself, wouldn't it? It's better to take a break...
Toya
But...
Toya
No, you're right. I'll take a break and go on a walk.
Toya's Mother
Alright... Be careful when you go out.
Toya
I will.
Toya
(...I feel bad for worrying her.)
Toya
(But right now, every second counts. I want to think about this song as much as possible.)
Toya
(If I can't work at home, then——)
Street SEKAI
Entering SEKAI
Toya
...Alright.
Toya
(I'll continue working at MEIKO-san's cafe. KAITO-san might be there too——)
Toya
Kh...
Toya
...This is bad. My head's spinning, must be from lack of sleep...
Toya
...No. I shouldn't rest in a place like this...
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——Toya-kun?
Toya
That voice...
Toya
MEIKO-san...
MEIKO
Why are you crouching like that? Are you feeling sick, or——
Toya
No...it's nothing to be concerned about. If I just rest for a moment, I'll...
MEIKO
——That won't do. I can't just leave you alone when you're shaking like this.
MEIKO
Sit right here. I'll go get you a drink from the shop.
Toya
No, you don't need to——
MEIKO
Toya-kun, I need you to listen to me.
Toya
...Yes. I understand.
— Some time later —
Toya
...Phew.
Toya
Thank you very much. Thanks to the snacks and tea you brought, I'm starting to feel better now.
MEIKO
I'm glad. It really was just a lack of sleep, then.
MEIKO
Once you've calmed down, you should go home and get some good rest. And once you've recovered, come swing by the cafe.
Toya
Right. I'm sorry I keep inconveniencing you like this.
MEIKO
No, it's nothing.
MEIKO
But...I'm not impressed with you burning the candle at both ends like this.
MEIKO
Could it be...that you're worried about your songs?
Toya
...Yes.
Toya
Even if I think I've done a good job, when I compare it to Ken-san and the others' music, I still feel like it's lacking in heat.
Toya
No matter how hard I try to discern the reason, I just can't figure it out...
MEIKO
...
MEIKO
At times like these, shouldn't you just go back to the start?
Toya
The...start?
MEIKO
Yeah. Try going back to the feelings you had when you first wrote music.
MEIKO
If I'm remembering correctly, you compiled everyone's feelings in a notebook, right?
Toya
Ah...yes. I even have it with me now.
MEIKO
Then why don't you try looking over it again?
MEIKO
I think it's especially important to return to the basics when you're stressed and can't find the right answer.
Toya
...I see.
Toya
(She's right. Recently, all I've been thinking is things like "What's the reason I can't reach that heat?" and "What am I lacking?")
Toya
(But, if I return to the basics, I may be able to unearth some new discoveries.)
Toya
I understand. I think I'll give it a try.
MEIKO
Hey, Toya-kun. If you don't mind, would you let me take a look at it, too?
Toya
Eh?
MEIKO
You showed KAITO, didn't you? ...I was actually thinking that I'd like to see it, as well.
Toya
Yes, of course. I'm sure if it's you, MEIKO-san, everyone would be alright with it.
— Some time later —
MEIKO
...Ohhh, so the second time you performed at STAY GOLD, Kohane-chan was thinking "I'll believe in An-chan, who believes in me".
Toya
Yes. That seems to be a highlight in her memories...so I thought to include the feelings from that time in my music.
MEIKO
Fufu, I'm already curious to see what kind of sound it's connected to.
MEIKO
That being said...these notes really are full of all sorts of feelings from everyone.
Toya
Yes. I thought that if I was able to include everything contained within this notebook, I'd be able to create a good song, but...
Toya
...For some reason, it isn't going well...
MEIKO
...Hey, Toya-kun.
MEIKO
This notebook has Kohane-chan's feelings, An-chan's feelings, and Akito-kun's feelings, all written out in careful detail, but...
MEIKO
Toya-kun, you've hardly written anything about yourself.
Toya
Eh? Ah...I suppose you're right.
Toya
But I already know my own feelings, so there's no need for me to go out of my way to write them out...
MEIKO
Is that so? I think your feelings are important, Toya-kun; shouldn't they be put into song, too?
MEIKO
Just like you did with everyone else, I think it would be a good idea for you to write down all of the feelings you've had up until now.
Toya
My...feelings up until now...
Flashback
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(For me...)
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(For me...isn't this impossible?)
End flashback
Toya
...
MEIKO
Toya-kun?
Toya
Ah...no. It's nothing.
MEIKO
Really? Are you sure you're not feeling sick again...?
Toya
No, it's nothing like that. ...Um...
Toya
When I think back on my past self, I can't help but recall all sorts of feelings.
MEIKO
All sorts...?
Toya
Yes... ...They're not exactly something I can be proud of and talk about, though...
MEIKO
...Why don't you look back on those feelings, too?
Toya
Eh?
MEIKO
Toya-kun, those feelings you have that are hard to talk about with anyone——
MEIKO
It could be that those have something to do with your songwriting.
Toya
You're right... If I intend on putting my feelings into this, it would be a good idea to reflect on those ones, as well...
Toya
...Thank you very much, MEIKO-san.
Toya
I think I'll try that method, starting today.
MEIKO
Yeah. Do your best, Toya-kun!
MEIKO
But you might start getting shaky again, so make sure to rest properly before you start reflecting, okay?
Toya
I will. Thank you for your concern.